Many of us think that we can make are children do whatever we need them to do, right? I mean not that it’s a bad thing but we would like them to listen to us. It starts with them eating what we put in front of them. Has anyone had their child be a picky eater? I answering my own question and raising my hand yes ha. Why is it a struggle to get them to sit there and eat with the family? It’s definitely a head ache that may cost you to miss your favorite show, or have your child sit there for an hour.
Would you consider them not eating their food as misbehaving? Really most of the time young children are acting their age. A lot of parents don’t have the knowledge of human behavior to figure out what is going on with their children. An example a toddler are being punished for misbehaving when their brains haven’t fully developed sufficiently to know what is expected of them. There language and social skills are not developed enough to comprehend what is expected of them. So they whine and cry for things that are irrational, inconvenient, or inappropriate. When they are not eating their food or reacting to things that you may think is ridiculous, they are the sweetness precious child in the world. We want our children to learn to control their behavior so that we can learn to control our behaviors as parents.
Why do we expect a person with an undeveloped brain to know how to behave in a certain way?
We are lacking the skills, knowledge, and awareness to interact with our children on a primitive level as far a brain behavior. This explains that struggle of adults and children with adults dealing with the “power struggle” with getting our children to do what we say.This especially can be hard because most of us work a 9a-5p job dealing with adults who have fully developed brains (most of them…) who is thinking rationally and appropriately to what you’re asking them to do. Your level of “cognitive interaction” is still high that you’ve had for 8 hours on the job, and when you come home you expect the same level of cognitive interaction with your 3 year or 13 year old but unfortunately it will be completely different.
Parent Educator innovator, Rudolf Dreikurs said a “misbehaving child is a discouraged child.”
We are quick to put a child on time out or punishment, but I think that us as parents need to take a time out to gather our thoughts and act thoughtfully towards our children instead of thoughtlessly. I know that this can be hard to take a step back and look at ourselves, especially with the routine of having to compromise rational conversations with adults all day, then expecting different results when you’re dealing with your children. They will obviously grow out of this development stage, but it’s up to us to understand where they’re at to help the best we know what during the process.
Be diverse. Be great. Be you.