We always think about leaving an effective impact on the lives of our child. The pressure is real that we put on ourselves once we have children. It’s really about embracing the struggle of being a parent regardless what age your kids are at. I’ve always wondered if people worry about the ancestry of their family make up.
Just because you, your mom, and your aunt kitty were diabetic does that mean that your child will be? Health can be a tricky thing because this out of your control, somewhat. Making sure that your children are eating healthy meals, and the occasional junk food snack is fine. If you’re wondering where I am going with this, it’s up to you to set the example.
If you start to eat healthy the likelihood of your child wanting to eat healthy is high. From healthy meals or having great manners, your children look at you to be the example if you like it or not. I know for some of us that’s scary because of the things that we do in our life. They are always watching us. I think that we worry about the impact that we have on our kids, but the biggest thing with the intent of our impact is that we don’t see it in the immediate. We have to be patient and let it play out. It may be 2 months from now, or 2 years from now. As much as we would like to control our impact on our children, unfortunately we do not.
“Children make decisions about themselves and how they see themselves in relationship to others and how they think others feel about them.”
With that said the most important thing is to show them about you feel about them. As the saying goes “It starts in the home”. Build that bond of “connecting before correcting” will go a long way with having a impact with your children. Even the times when we get mad at them, look them in the eye, be calm, and show them your displeasure with what they did. It’s important to understand why they are doing what they are doing. Make sense? I know it’s tough for us to be patient when we want to wring their neck at times, but just like any other interaction that you have, you can’t “seek to understand” when all you can see is red (aka being mad).
Take a step back, pause, and breathe. The thing that we most want is for our kids is to listen to what we have to say as parents, right? But just like anyone, when you keep talking at someone, they begin to tune you out. It’s about connecting and understanding them, rather than focusing on discipline or getting your point across.
Your patience with your child affects your impact on them. Patience impacts your relationship with anyone, but tremendously helps when raising children. Beginning to nurture the various relationships that you have with you children as they grow up from a toddler to an adult, will help them see themselves in a positive light. Will it be easy, NO.
Will they have negative thoughts about themselves whether how smart they are, body image, how much money they have, or achieving certain goals, YES. We all have had this. But it’s up to us as parents to plant those seeds of being positive, patience, and connecting with them to allow our impact to be sustainable with them.
The greatest impact that you can give your children is your patience. A little secret parents….not only do you have to be patient with your kids, be patient with yourself in becoming the best parent that you can be.
Be diverse. Be great. Be you.